It was quite a Heartstopper when I saw Hipsters Don’t Lie was updated.

It had been a month since the blog was updated, and it was in need of updating.
“The blog needs updating,” said the Little Red Hipster. “Who will update the blog?”
“Not I,” said the Bob.
“Not I,” said the Cat.
“Not I,” said the Bobcat Cat.
“Then I will,” said the Little Red Hipster. And she did.

My apologies once again. I was expecting a post from Bobcat shortly following my own, but, alas, when a job needs to be done, do it yourself. (That is possibly the least hipster sentiment I’ve ever expressed in this blog, aside from my love of Barenaked Ladies. A real hipster would just glare at the job with apathetic rage until it did itself.) I really have no excuse for not updating, disregarding bouts of sickness and looming deadlines that lead to decisions that will affect the rest of my life. Bobcat, on the other hand, is playing with her new rabbit. Naturally, when I thought about what I should write about, flaming Conor Oberst sounded like an excellent idea–but then I thought, “Hey, I’ve been listening to a lot of Emilíana Torrini lately.”

Emilíana Torrini hails from Iceland, the land of swan dresses and Björk, and is best known for providing the vocals for “Gollum’s Song” for Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. And apparently she put out a new album. Who knew? Me and Armini, which dropped on September 9th, is a mix of genres from folk to reggae and country to jazz with a common Emilíana-spin. Never over-orchestrated or over-produced, each song features simple guitar and drum arrangements backing Emilíana’s unique vocals; her raspy voice constantly straddles the line between juvenile, bubbly innocence and breathy, world-weary maturity. Her slower, softer, stripped-down numbers often sound like songs meant only for the singer’s own ears–something private and vulnerable you were lucky enough to happen to eavesdrop on. But I digress–I’ve read only good things about this follow-up of Fisherman’s Woman (the follow-up of the popular, but drastically different Love in the Time of Science).

My pick is Heartstopper, a favorite of mine from 2005′s Fisherman’s Woman. It’s a simple enough song about everything in life seeming to fall apart all at once. The contrast between the slow, vulnerable chorus and the comparatively chaotic arrangement and the strength of Emilíana’s voice in the verses has always gotten me and my cold, apathetic heart. I’m not a huge fan of music videos usually, but this one is worth a watch or two (or ten). Seriously.

Going from stopped hearts to hearts beating like jungle drums, my pick from the new album is the infectiously catchy Jungle Drum.

Other highlights for me from the new album were Fireheads, Big Jumps, Gun and Bleeder.
For more on Emilíana Torrini, check out her official site and myspace page.

Also, if you would be so kind as to look in the sidebar, you can find many ways to keep in touch with us. If you would be so kind as to select the way that best suits you, please feel free to leave Bobcat angry messages (or comments!) demanding updates. ‘Til next time (which hopefully won’t be another month away): stay hip, kids.

Mixtape Challenge: Paul Edition.

Here it is, my response to our own challenge. Bobcat’s should follow soon.
I’ve provided you all with links to all the songs. These may range from music videos to live shows to Dawson’s Creek fanvids–bear with me. I did the best I could. Besides, who couldn’t use a little more Dawson/Joey in their lives? That’s what I thought.

1. A song with an impressive intro: Special – The Brakes

Okay, so it’s not the most dramatic entrance ever, but, as a whole, I feel like it’s a pretty good kick start to the list. And The Brakes are great.

2. A song with a literary allusion: Lolita – Throw Me the Statue

Bubbly vocals and jangly guitars. Infectiously poppy. This song makes me happy–very much unlike Nabokov’s masterpiece of the same name. But as a side note, if anyone could explain to me what exactly is going on in this video (particularly the end), that would be great. I mean, I get the lecherous old man and all, but somewhere around 2:30 in my mind just explodes.

3. A song released 20+ years ago: Tangled Up In Blue – Bob Dylan

This needs no description. What hipster doesn’t love them some Dylan? Tangled Up In Blue is one of my favorites, and this is by far my favorite version of it. Enjoy it and try to ignore the fact that Dylan must have been running late from his audition for The Dark Knight.

4. A rap song that fits within the realm of hipsterness: Ain’t That Right – G. Love

Flow to G. Love’s flow! A definite feel-good summer track. Not definite rap. Shh.

5. A song by the first band you saw in concert: Half A Heart – Barenaked Ladies

This could have been many songs, but I felt this was the best fit. Plus, I’m a sucker for Ed ballads. You can just smell that self-pity and self-loathing. Oh, ambivalence. Oh, memories. Oh, Barenaked Ladies! (Oh, Ed!) Do you understand my tenderest affections for them now?! They were my first. I will never forget that night. <3

6. A song that mentions or alludes (clearly) to a historical figure: Decatur, Or, Round Of Applause For Your Stepmother! – Sufjan Stevens

Not one, but two mentions! Anyone who has not been distracted by the lines “Stephen A. Douglas was a great debater, but Abraham Lincoln was the great emancipator!” running rampant through his or her head during an American history exam has not lived. Thanks for the answer to that multiple choice, Sufjan.

7. A song employing a foreign language either in part or whole: Larmes – Pauline Croze

Pauline Croze is, without a doubt, the best use of my eight year French education. That being said, I rarely understand what she’s saying. Although I do know larmes is French for ‘tears.’ I also believe she’s saying “The flow of our tears purifies our souls” at the end there. See AP French? You were not entirely in vain.

8. A song that describes your hometown: Welcome to Suburbia – Jeremy Messersmith

“We’ve got cul-de-sacs and barbecues in suburbia. Welcome to the rest of your life.” Enough said. (Jeremy Messersmith is an up-and-coming singer/songwriter from Minneapolis. He’s got good stuff. Check him out.)

9. A song that mentions fruit: Fruit Tree – Nick Drake

Nick Drake is a musical staple of mine. Excellent lyricist, guitarist and singer. This song is particularly poignant as it muses on fame after death (“Fame is but a fruit tree so very unsound /It can never flourish till its stalk is in the ground”); at 26, and in the midst of his relatively unsuccessful career, Drake overdosed. His genius was only recognized years after his untimely death. This song is both beautiful and eerily prophetic. His catalog is a veritable treasure trove. Go forth and ransack it.

10. The most heart wrenchingly sad song you know: Between the Bars – Elliott Smith

Elliott Smith is yet another tragic story of one gone before his time. Between the Bars is a bittersweet ballad and a whispered pledge to help another fend off their demons. It makes me sad. And Elliott Smith makes me sad. That’s all.

11. A song containing alliteration: Sunday Sun – Beck

One of my favorite songs off of one of my favorite albums by one of my favorite artists. I can’t really go wrong there. I hold the alliteration to be self evident.

12. An unlikely cover: Bitches Ain’t Shit – Ben Folds

WARNING: This is song contains explicit lyrics.. if you couldn’t tell. I never thought someone could make this into a emotive ballad of betrayal and lost love. Well played, Ben Folds. Well played.

13. A song that name drops another artist: Taxi Driver – Gym Class Heroes

Look! More rap. Does this compensate for #4? It should. Plus, it manages to smoothly name drop multiple bands that could wear this button with unironic pride. (For the record, we want this one.)

14. A song by the band you most swoon over: Skin Is, My – Andrew Bird

I’m going to restrain myself. Once you get me going on Andrew Bird, it’s only a matter of time before everything I say starts to sound like high-pitched fangirlish SQUEE’s of delight.

15. A song about endings: The End – The Beatles

A fitting ending. The Beatles. An obvious choice.

So there you have it.

Rage Against the Mainstream Part II: Paul Loves the Ladies.

Okay. I’ve been MIA for some time. I’d been entertaining the content of my returning blog entitled “Excuse my absence, I’ve been frolicking in the forest with some Feral Children,” but a very important event occurred while I was abroad, upsetting my plans. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Steven Page of Barenaked Ladies was caught snorting some cocaine in upstate New York. Now, as a hipster, I cannot rightly lecture Mr. Page on his alleged drug habit–cocaine habit, no less; but what hipster doesn’t love a little hypocritical irony? Thusly, I give Mr. Page a wag of my finger for being a bad role model to the children and a tip of my hat for bringing some rock star street cred to a band with a squeaky clean reputation tainted only by being barred from playing at Toronto City Hall; but, in all seriousness, as a fan of Steven, I hope that he finds the help he needs and gets himself back together for his kids, his bandmates and himself.

Now, cocaine is bad, folks, but my real outrage occurs over the content of a number of articles I’ve read about his arrest. It seems that it’s all some form of “Steven Page of Barenaked Ladies was arrested, blah blah blah, hit songs ‘One Week’ and ‘If I Had $1,000,000.’” This has prompted me to write my second installment in my infinity-part series: Rage Against the Mainstream Part II: Paul Loves the Ladies. Forgive the length; my haughty hipster rage has been incensed.

Barenaked Ladies have more than two songs. I know it’s hard to believe. The Chinese chicken guys. The lotto song guys. You don’t know how these names pain my heart to hear. Today, I will put all my hipster cred on the line and declare my love of the Ladies for all the blogosphere to see! The Ladies’ career has spanned 16 years, and although they are best known for their novelty pop songs *seethes with rage*, they deserve to be known for their dedication to musicianship and clever songwriting.

Back in the day, meaning 1992, they released their first real album, the pepsi-colored-album-covered Gordon. It contains some of the best songwriting of their career, including relatively unknown gems like “Wrap Your Arms Around Me,” “What A Good Boy,” “Blame It On Me,” and “The Flag.” In addition to excellent lyrics, these feature some classic Barenaked harmonies. One also has to mention the better-known, and rightly so, “Brian Wilson.” It’s a brilliant must-listen, as is Gordon in general.

The 1994 Maybe You Should Drive came during the beginning of a troubling time for the band, and thus yielded a slightly more disjointed effort. It’s not their best, but the songwriting still shines on the disc, providing classics like “Jane,” “A,” “Am I the Only One?,” and “The Great Provider.” One of the album’s more popular tracks, “Alternative Girlfriend,” should make its way into every hipster’s musical library. It’s a great song and the video’s a clever shot at the 90′s alternative scene that was sprawling further into the obscure and bizarre for the sake of the obscure and bizarre.

In 1996, Born on a Pirate Ship was released during a continuation of the tumult within the band, between personal struggles, creative disagreements and the departure of their original pianist and percussionist Andy Creegan. It’s harsher than you would expect from the poppy-ness of their later work, including the startling angst of “Just A Toy” and “I Live With It Every Day.” It also has two of the best Barenaked tracks you’ve probably never heard: “When I Fall,” Ed’s surprisingly evocative ballad to a high-rise window washer afraid of heights, and the brooding “Break Your Heart,” which in addition to breaking your heart as you listen, is hands down Steve’s most impressive and moving vocal performance.

Do we really need to go over what came next? Stunt. I would say that says it all, but buried within the hits is the lesser-known “Told You So.” Just listen to it and love it. That’s all I can say.

And after Stunt came the almost as popular Maroon which has an equal lack of need to be covered here– aside from my command that you listen to “Baby Seat.” If you hipsters are wary, it namedrops Kerouac. Go crazy, kids.

After three years of silence, Everything to Everyone, a title playing on the pressure on the band to please everyone again following the success of the last two albums. “If I check the irony/Would everybody cheer me?” Robertson asks in “Testing 1, 2, 3″ (hipsters certainly would not cheer, unless in irony). Some call it unbalanced. Okay, maybe. Others called it underwhelming, but I turn my haughty hipster rage upon them and proclaim this album simply more mature. At times. There is no lack of smart wordplay, but for the best I suggest the dramatic “Next Time,” the chilling “War On Drugs” and the wittily metaphorical ode to people who suck more than they appear to, “Aluminum.”

And so we come to the most recent effort aside from their children’s album, Snacktime! I am somewhat apathetic (surprise!) towards Barenaked Ladies Are Me(n). I pine for the days of Gordon, yet embrace the fact that the Ladies are getting old and changing their tune a bit–but are 29 tracks really necessary? I weed through and suggest: “One And Only,” “Half A Heart,” and the two politically driven tracks, “Maybe You’re Right” and “Take It Back.” Also, “The New Sad” is a fitting ending to an album dealing with the band’s more mature troubles. Barenaked Ladies are not 20 anymore. Sorry.

This is where it ends (SEE: TITLE REFERENCE). Finally. I can see you all breathing a collective sigh of relief. I hope I have single handedly opened up a whole new world of Barenaked Ladies to you that the rest of the world chooses to ignore. I wear my love for the Ladies with pride on my sleeve, and I hope your image of my elite hipster scorn has not been damaged by my ardor for their clean, genuine, smart-ass brand of rock/pop/folk. If it has, well, cling to the fact that they’re are an indie band now–and that one of them just got arrested. That has to count for something.